Sort of.

I guess now that all of the proper channels have been notified, I can let the cat out of the bag. (Who keeps cats in a bag anyways, seems really inconvenient). No I’m not moving (again), or pregnant, or really a man. I am being laid off at work. This is due to no action of my own, but the relocation of the owner and their choice to close the business permanently. I have known for a couple of weeks, but chose to keep things somewhat quiet until all of the employees and vendors had been notified. As much as I have tried to look at this as an opportunity to focus on finding a job closer to home, getting back into school, and putting more energy into my art and blogs, I am terrified. I have spent a lot of time in bed, trying to keep myself from slipping into a pity depression because of the timing – Hello Christmas! but it hasn’t been easy. Every night I have had dreams of drowning. They are not reoccurring dreams per say, as I manage to drown in a different way every night, but it does not make for a good nights rest.

But before this turns into a ‘woe is me’ post – there are many things that I am thankful for that cannot be overlooked. First and most importantly I have had massive support from my Mom & Dad, as well as Richard and his family. Without them, this new transition would be much harder than it already is. This past year and a half has been the absolute, hands down, most trying time of my life, and without them – well, I can’t even imagine. Secondly, my boss. There were definitely times where I felt that I was not the right fit for this job. I knew nothing about the heating and air trade which made it even harder when trying to speak to vendors and technicians without sounding like a complete idiot. My boss reassured me that I was doing my job just fine, and by the time that the busy season hit, I would be a seasoned veteran, and he was right. Also switching from almost 10 years in retail to an office job presented a whole new set of challenges. I was thrown into book keeping, mileage tracking, dispatching, call routing, and all kinds of other scenarios with little or no training before hand. I had to become even more resourceful, ask questions, be patient with myself, and fail.

The last part was the hardest for me, because in my previous roles as management at two well known retail corporations, I hardly ever failed. I had the answers, I was in charge, I was the person people turned to for guidance and questioning. Suddenly I was in a role that I had never really been in full time (of course I did of my current roles at my previous jobs but not in this capacity) without floaties. The girl before me was let go on a Friday and I started on Monday – nobody to show me where the vendor lists were, how to look up previous work in Quickbooks, what the passwords were to various accounts, and what jobs were currently open. But this was a true test of my ability to turn on a dime and make it work. Did my desk look like an explosion most days? Yes. Did I get the job done? Yes. So now that my time is coming to a close at my current job, I really need to remember to stop and give myself a pat on the back.

So what’s next – Good question. I have started applying for jobs. I am also eligible for unemployment, which is definitely a breath of fresh air because I won’t be struggling to pay my bills like when I left Target. During my (hopefully short) time off, I plan to complete the process to starting college to work on obtaining my nursing degree, my ultimate goal. I also plan on spending some time to really hammer out the direction of what I want to do with this space. Unlike Spoil Your Dinner, the content doesn’t write itself and some days I find it hard to put together something to post here.

In an effort to become more inspired, I have been really digging into the blogging community. I have joined BlogHer, which I have found to be a great place for women bloggers and will be participating in this months NaBloPoMo (which stands for National Blog Posting Month – don’t worry, I had to Google it too) which of course is themed around Work this month. Check back tonight to see this past weeks “My week in an instant” and todays first NaBloPoMo entry.